In Regards to the 2016 Presidential Election

***Disclaimer: This post is not Pro-Hillary or Pro-Trump. This post is purely my own opinion on the matter of the election. I am not telling who I voted for, but honestly that doesn't matter now. Now all that matters is where we decide to go from here.***

I have always told myself that I would never speak of who I voted for and why because my opinion is my own and I don't have to justify my actions to other people. However, I must say that I am almost appalled by both sides in this election. For the past year I have kept fairly silent on the political matters that have been on the forefront of everyone's minds because, quite frankly, I personally could not agree with either side completely. In my mind, neither candidate was worthy of my vote. That is when I began to pray. I prayed about the outcome. I prayed that God would ultimately make the right decision, and use the candidate that was elected for good works. But mostly I prayed that God would lead me to the right person to vote for because on my own, I could not make a decision at all.

I was raised in a fairly conservative, Christian, Republican household. I was taught things like you never just vote your political party: vote for the person who will do the job the best, racism is wrong (as is sexism and ageism), to always stand up for what you believe in, never to push your beliefs off on other people (share your beliefs but also be willing to listen to the other person's side of the story), but most importantly that each person has a right to their own opinion (which may or may not be something you agree with) and therefore each person should be treated with dignity and respect when they are sharing their view. You know what though? I am not a bigot, a racist, a white supremacist, a misogynist, a member of the KKK, an uneducated backwoods buffoon, or any of the other outrageous things that people like me have been called over the past couple of days. I am a 24 year old, white, Republican woman who voted for who she felt would do the best job in office, and then prayed and prayed and prayed for whoever was elected. At this point that is all we can do: pray. Pray for President-elect Trump to make great decisions, and to lead our country well. Don't call him a failure before he's even had a chance to begin his administration because, you never know, he could surprise us all. Honestly, that is what I want more than anything: to be surprised by how well he is running our country. What we need to all agree to do is just STOP. Stop with the hate. Stop with the protesting. If we all don't unite as one, this whole country is going to fall, divided.

I have heard Trump supporters bash the Hillary supporters because they are so excited that they won and they want to rub it in other people's faces. I have also heard Hillary supporters call Trump supporters evil, stupid, racists and are the reason American society as we know it is ruined. Why can't we all just respect each other? After all, if God can use a person like Saul who was a murderer and a persecutor of early Christians, why can't He use a person like Donald Trump for something good? For myself, I have to agree that God has everything in control. Even Saul became Paul who was one of the first Christian Missionaries. Every single day I am going to pray for this man who was elected by the American people, but I am also going to pray for peace on this issue. I am going to continue to love all of you, even if we don't agree on these political issues. Am I worried about what the future holds now that Trump was elected? Well, yeah, but I've got faith that everything will be okay eventually. Yes, I understand the severity of the results of this election, but maybe we should give this guy a chance to prove himself.

If this post has made anyone angry, I'm sorry you feel that way. If you feel we can't be friends anymore, I'm sorry you feel that way. This is my opinion on the election and mine alone. Regardless, I am going to keep praying every day for President-elect Trump, but most importantly for all of you. Hopefully time will allow everyone to heal and move forward.

"'You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise of the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." - Matthew 5:43-48

Late Night Confessions

You know, I have never once considered writing anything about my life down (EVER), but tonight something changed. Tonight I decided I was sick and tired of carrying around all this extra baggage everywhere I go. Tonight I decided I was tired of feeling sorry for myself. Tonight, I want to get this out in the open, but it took me a while to figure out how I wanted to go about doing this.
As I was laying awake in bed allowing that sense of overwhelming anxiety and depression wash over me, I decided that maybe it might actually benefit me to write through some of these issues I have.

I have never really admitted any of these things out loud to just anyone (just a couple of really close friends and family members), but I don't think I can hold some of these things inside anymore.

I am a victim of sexual assault. This is a subject I have always tried to stay away from when talking to people about myself because of its extremely uncomfortable nature. The events that unfolded on that cold December morning back in 2010 in my apartment will forever be seared into my brain. I remember everything in detail as if it had just happened. However, now, I am finally trying to make peace with what happened and lay it to rest after carrying it around with me for almost 6 years. For too long I allowed that stupid man to win by blaming myself for everything. ("Maybe if I had done this or that differently, things would've turned out different", "I deserved what I got", "Now I'm damaged goods....who could possibly want me?") By allowing him to get in my head and manipulate my thoughts like that, I was letting him win.

My first mistake was believing that guy when he told me it was all my fault because if I had just consented it wouldn't have nearly as traumatizing as it was to me. I allowed him to bring me to my all time low. I allowed him to get into my head for years. Most importantly though, I allowed him to get away with it because I didn't want to talk about it to the detective in charge of my case anymore. I didn't want to deal with what happened to me, and so I ignored it all. Now it is time for me to fight back for my happiness, my faith in God, my faith in there actually being a man for me out there somewhere. Most importantly though, I have finally gotten through my thick, stubborn head that what happened was not my fault...it was his. I made the choice to say no. He decided to not listen and do whatever he wanted by any means necessary.

Maybe one of these days I will want to share the complete story with you, but today is not that day. Today, it still hurts. Today, it still makes me sad. (Typing this all out is by far the hardest thing I have ever done) Today is where I decide I want to get back on the road to redemption and leave all of this behind where it belongs. I have faith that one day I will be back in God's loving arms for good and will not be led astray by what the devil is trying to get me off the path to righteousness with. I matter. So do we all. No one deserves to be a victim of sexual assault.

Good night all!
Remember God loves you all and He will see you through what ever hardships you happen to be weathering through at this time.
Sarah